:: of happiness ::

'Drawing on Csikszentmihalyi's work, Seligman proposes a fundamental distinction between pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures are 'delights that have clear sensory and strong emotional components' such as may be derived from food, sex, backrubs and cool breezes. Gratifications are activities that engaged you fully, draw on your strengths and allows you to lose self-consciousness.

Pleasure feels good in the moment, but sensual memories fade quickly and the person is no wiser or stronger afterwards. Even worse, pleasure beckons people back for more, away from activities that might be better for them in the long run. But gratifications are different. Gratifications ask more of us; they challenge us and make us extend ourselves.

Gratifications often come from accomplishing something, learning something or improving something. When we enter the state of flow, hard work becomes effortless. We want to keep exerting ourselves, honing our skills, using our strengths..' - from 'The Happiness Hypothesis' by John Haidt


Although certain aspects of the book can be argued from an alternative viewpoint, I found John's unique way of blending the east & west school of thoughts as well as bringing ancient wisdom to modern perspective very refreshing.
As much as we'd like to be in a constant state of euphoria, we know that's very much impossible.
Interestingly, this book had never intended to be a self-help - rather it offers various studies conducted by advocates of positive psychology.
Some of the things might be too familiar for our comfort thus I found myself more often than not agreeing on his insight.

Happiness has never meant to be measured although the truth is, how we deem life will define our own meaning of happiness.
And the excerpt on gratification and pleasure was one I felt strongly for. It reaffirms my belief that only through loving yourself can you find love in another. Probably the reason why after I learned the term interest-work-busy, I felt a sense of liberation that in a way frees me from constant worry of trying to be the best for someone else.

We are told to dream big but we often take a step further by expecting.
Truth is, all successful people when asked of their secret to such great achievements will tell you they dream but expectations were reduced to zero and it's the process that meant more to them than the results itself.

Sounds too cliche? You bet.

Oh well, after all. Aren't all humans a walking paradox?