:: random ::

Nights when I'm heavily dependent on coffee, typing my ideas in the midst of assignments completion - somehow there will be a fraction of time I stopped to enjoy the beauty of night, just letting my thoughts fly randomly.

Its a wonder how our mind work at different times.
How our personality switched at different occasions.
How the 'outside' us remains deceptive, even in the eyes of our beloved.
We don't need doctors to diagnose the 'schizo' in us.
And after years of living, changing masks for different set of parties with varied 'life' themes falls into a certain complacency that led me to think, 'Have I achieved what I set out to do?' or was I merely satisfying the normal human need termed busy to validate my self-worth in society.
'Personal satisfaction?' or 'Gaining experiences to impress?'

As I read my previous entries, I realized how shallow I can be.
Highlighting events that I felt was important to me then seem nothing now.
Had I intended to put myself at center stage where I bring people into my personal life?
Was I really keen on sharing?
Or was it alter-ego talking?

Nights when I'm heavily dependent on coffee, I question too much.
It hurts sometimes.
Given a choice, I'd opt for ignorance.
But feeding my curiosity always override that choice.

Which leaves me to no choice - but to keep questioning things that held no answers.