:: sick ::

Been feeling under the weather lately.
Tending a red-nose thats been running like an overflowing tap.
After countless of nags, I finally relented on drugging myself with the flu pill that knocked me out until the mind had to play some tricks.
Transported me into nightmare-land which seems so surreal that it shook my confidence.
I lose my defenses.
Even for a second thought it could be for real. That maybe its just a sign.

I had to snap out of it before the constant self-talk heads itself to the negative direction.
Which eventually will turn habitual and I can prepare myself to say goodbye to a wonderful beginning.
Relationship books speak alot about confidence.
About not showing your vulnerability.
About not taking any shit from anyone.
About knowing what you want.
About finding your identity and not letting others rob you of that.

A sense of security within ourselves take ages to build.
After failed and unforgettable experiences that become the greatest lessons learnt through the hard way - proving to be a turning point, you cant wait to restart.
Energized and recharged at full throttle, you believe you can ride through the storms.
High at your confidence level, nothing can break you.

So is it true, confidence once achieved could stay through with you forever?
Could you gain it today and lose it tomorrow?

Effort.
And fine-tuning the mind.
Sometimes I like to think of the unnecessary.
It makes me feel more appreciative of whats granted.