:: its in the magic ::

Times when out of the blue the maternal instinct kicks in and I start wishing that my cat can magically transformed into a cute little baby.
But fact number one - I am an unlikely candidate to carry the role of a mother. (at least for now)
Makes me wonder how my lil mum could raise both of us just fine.
At the age of 24. Yes thats like 2 yrs from now.

A good friend is getting married.
Another good friend is filing for a divorce.
I shudder thinking how fragile a relationship is.
One second you will be in smiles and laughter, the next you could be in tears and regret.
If theres a time capsule that can bring me to the future and see what lies ahead of me, Id take it.
Least Im prepared for the worst and maybe the best.
But it'll spoil all the fun, wont it?
If you knew your lifestory before you actually lived it.

Just last night, Jannah and I had one of our late-nights chat.
Reminiscing past relationships.
I am not proud to go through 'hell' before I finally settled for something I believed I wanted all along.
I figured its the 'hell' that actually made me see things from a new perspective.
That the man can be the perfect man if I am willing to see that perfection in him.
I used to demand perfection. I used to push the blame on others - telling them 'Ive put in lotsa effort. But u are not doing anything about it.'
The pattern repeated until I ended my last relationship.
Went for a considerable period of 'zen'.
Calm my thoughts, realised what I wanted, did the things I wanted to do.
In short, get busy. For myself.
It did work.
Building confidence and gathering back the self-worth that I claimed I lost during a process of being in 'hell', I stood tall embracing whatever that comes my way as a test of strength and character.
I laid my own rules. And I promised to keep them.

Stories of failed marriages recounted by friends who had first-hand experiences - are a definite eye-opener.
Its time to let the past rest. And be grateful for the present.

Speaking of which, remember your flirting moments with your partner?
How every ringing message tone can make you jump in excitement?
You dont mind spending 24hrs text msging random stuffs like 'you eaten' - And how that harmless flirting landed you the man of your dream.
And a few months later, in a very comfortable state, you forgot how to flirt with the same man that kept your lil fingers active once upon a time.
Lol. Im not complaining. I love my man more each day bt it makes me wonder how the art of flirting can easily be lost when you are together...
Oh well, you can try.
As I did.

I asked the man (the line in Christina N Diddy's song)
'Lets pretend for a second that we dont know each other.'
And the joker had to answer, 'Then what are you doing in my car?!'

But lets keep on trying shall we?

Men are too practical sometimes.