:: The point of no return ::

I found myself seated across a small field.
Seeking solace in my own private world, with 4 hours to kill before heading off to the next tutorial.
Yes, thats my Tuesdays for you. An hr morning tutorial, followed by a 5 hr break and another hr of tutorial.

I realised Ive been using work as a distraction.
From the infamous slack mode, I've geared myself to another level.
Full throttle, I would say.
Too many things had happened, diclosing the details in this tiny space would be intrusion to my privacy bt heck, this tiny space had also been my source of comfort.
I met koko yesterday, recounted what had happened. It was a first time for me, seeing her so mad and cursing her way through the conversation.
We, learning that trust is overrated.

Telling the world what Im going through is something Im nt accustom to.
Lately, I've been disconnecting myself from everyone.
If granted a wish, I would have packed my bag and run away.
Yes, Im good at running away.
Things happen for a reason. I predicted the consequences. Even instinctively knew who let the cat out of the bag. If the call had been made earlier, I would have cried my heart out.
Then I deem it pointless to cry for something that has been done. That nothing could turn back the hands of time.
The feeling of betrayal is overwhelming.
Its as if someone punched you on your face. You turning blue and speechless. All it takes is another blow before you fell flat on your face.
What doesnt kill me, makes me stronger.

Ironically, singlehood made me see things from a different light.
Just awhile ago, I was eager to be back in the dating scene.
Now, at my hideout in campus, the phone not ringing frm calls or random sms-es; I felt more at ease. This is what I've been waiting for.
Time for myself.
With the birds humming its own song and the leaves gently rustling, I experienced a certain calmness.
No more worries about who to please. What I need to do to be assured.
All this while, the strength was within me. Unleashing it was something I had not braved myself.
As I say goodbye to people who had once played imprtant roles in my life - my good friend, my great company and my boyfriend, it dawned to me that the betrayal had been a test.
Introspecting and reflecting.
People are replaceable but not my thoughts and emotions.

To that certain someone. I could forgive you bt I could never forget.
It was a beautiful friendship but I'm so sorr it had to end this way.

Trust no one. Guard your secrets within you. It could be a dangerous weapon that could backfire you.
It had backfired me. :)