:: How many men is too many men? ::

I started dating at the 'unripe' age of 15. Then, I was wearing ugly glasses, had an equally ugly hairdo n a bad sense of fashion. At 15, when the hormones were raging and having a steady sounded very cool, I was clueless about who I went out with (if you must know, i dont have a list of an ideal partner). Eventually, I hooked up with a guy my age, who went steady with me because according to him he had never met someone who could beat him in 'Streetfighter'. Did I mentioned on the date, I was wearing an oversize Chelsea jersey and Quicksilver bermudas with my ugly glasses and hair. I think at that point he was either blind or desperate though now I heard hes doing very well in the dating scene. After two weeks of going steady and countless of sweet messages, he dumped me - clearly for another girl because he was one of the most popular guy in the school area.

So I moved on to another guy whom I dumped aftr 2 years simply because he was too boring (our dates location are only PS and ECP. ECP n PS.) Cool, he returned me all my gifts to him except the expensive boots and sportsbag, very typical. Then another one came along the way, this time a guy who adores his voice more than me, singing me songs only to ask if his voice was ohkey. Geez, eventually he falls into my list of 'Case of the ex'. Then I met By, many2 years older, many2 years experienced. Occasional straying away and still ended up being together, through which each experience set a new dimension in our relationship. Truth be told, the most unpredictable, dynamic and many2 ups and downs.

Point is, as I reflected upon past relationships, the day I started looking at boys eventually moving on to men, from having a steady to having a boyfriend - I never had a moment being single. The longest period of my singlehood was 2 weeks and that sounded very pathetic to me now. So was I really dependent on men that it seems easy to move on with another regardless of the age, size and background. Was I holding on to what I believe 'a bad relationship is better than no relationship'.

Exploring relationships is a profound experience. Its like a pattern we go through, the courtship - the get-to-know and slowly the novelty comes in -the-I-know-your-habits and then after a few years of being together, theres no longer butterflies in the stomach when you are out with your partner. It suddenly becomes routine and we know how routines can bore most of us. Nonetheless, by's unpredictability has left me countless of time wondering 'now, whats next'. Even when you feel confident about your independence, theres a fragile little princess residing in your timid soul that screams desperation of finding a knight in the shining armour. So if sleeping beauty had not been rescued by her prince, will she sleep forever not knwoing how it felt to be hold and loved?

But we know, lifes neither a fairytale nor is there a real prince waiting to rescue us. All we need in this age of the un-innocence is a firm belief that at the end of the day, we rescue ourselves from all the bad things that happen in life plus having lotsa of faith does help.