:: My upcoming new year ::

bestie came up with a very good idea to celebrate the upcoming new year.
it will be a pyjamas party for both of us with lotsa food and our all time favourite movies.
so where cn i find an appropiate pyjamas for myself. n no, i donwan the silky2 type.
id prefer the ones that will make me look like a very cute 20-yr old.hee. so fin, help me out. you might be 30++ bt i noe you have many cute ideas goin thru that mind of yours. heee..

i have no idea why im thrilled and excited for this party.
maybe because the past two years, my new years' celebrations didnt turned out the way i wanted them to be. not that i didnt had fun, rather i felt that embracing a new year would be best celebrated with a loved or close someone. sharing the memories of past events, anticipating on what the future has in store for us.

i confessed now - that
i get easily suffocated in crowds, i get restless amidst the blare of loud music played by the djs, i get turned off by the sight of tipsy/drunk men and women, i get nausea from smokers' breath reeked of tobacco.
i had my fair share of fun. fed my curiosity long enough. though its early to tell whether i chose not to go back to places i once defined fun.
fun takes a whole new meaning esp. during days i spent time with lovely friends.
somehow its not the venue or the time, rather how fulfilling your meet-ups with friends are.

i enjoyed my time with the whole geng. yes, i still owe u guys the swensens treat.
i enjoyed my time with ain. with finz. with bestie. with kak lyn. truthfully, my list of friends esp. close ones had not even come close to 100. yet, these few quality friends makes up the sun that shines my life, that torched me through moments i lost my way in tunnels of darkness.

because we live for ourselves.
yet, we need others to help us propelled towards a greater understanding of who we are. to assure us our worth as a being. to hold our hands when we can no longer walk our way through problems. being there is never about understanding another. rather a knowledge that you are not alone in this world, that your existence has a reason. to give and to receive. afterall, dont everyone wants to have a sense of security that under any circumstances, we are able to face the fear and fight the battles.

its too early but year 2005 has yet been another meaningful year for me.
well-spent, developed new relationships and strengthened the old ones.
i see, i hear, i feel, i smell and tasted life. too pleasant to have a room for regrets. every experience accounts for the development of my personal well-being.
and every year, the same resolution - to seek self-betterment. in others and through my mistakes and flawed character.

If knowledge can create problems, then its not through ignorance that we could solve them. Beautifully said by Grissom in CSI.


till then.